Do You Know Your Superpower?

What is a Superpower? Merriam-Webster lists 3 definitions; 1. Excessive or superior power; 2. An extremely powerful nation; 3. A power or ability (such as the ability to become invisible or to fly) of the kind possessed by superheroes: a superhuman power. While these definitions may be what we have been taught to believe, I'd like to think that a Superpower can be defined as those things you do best. This notion that a Superpower must be an ability that is outside of the realm of being normal is asinine to me. We are all extraordinary in our own right. You just have to dig a litter deeper into “self” to identify what it is that makes you, you...and that my friend, is how you tap into your natural given Superpowers.

Let's see, for me I think I always had an inkling that I was different. When I was younger, that "difference" that gnawed away at me mentality (and not in a good way) was solely based on the opinions of others and me being a product of my environment. We were poorer than any other family I'd ever encountered. I often got mistaken as a boy because my hair was unkept and my clothes were dirty, too small, or too big. They were mainly hand-me-downs and in some cases the kids I got them from made sure everyone within listening range at school knew so. I was teased relentlessly from kindergarten through the sixth grade, to the point that in middle school I would hide in the restrooms standing on the toilets for hours, so the stalls would appear empty. We moved from the East coast to the Midwest where I completed the fourth through sixth grade (I think). When I was in the sixth grade, I remember a boy telling me, “Just be bad, that's how I got them to leave me alone when I moved here". I remember him always being a class clown, disrespectful to teachers, and disrupting class...that just wasn't in my DNA.

Because of my early years, I found myself being a people pleaser to make myself a bit more likeable. As the years came and went, I thought I understood what made me different and why I was different. I felt as though I was put on this earth to be of service to others...that's how I would get into heaven. Without completely understanding the ramifications behind this type of thinking and all the actions that I would put behind these thoughts. I poured and poured and poured into everyone, anything they needed, whether I had it or not, I would give it. At first, I loved the way giving made me feel because I was no longer the receiver. This type of giving went on for about thirty years until I found myself completely drained and empty by the time I was forty.

While I spent all those years pouring, giving, and healing...I was still not receiving which was heartbreaking when it finally dawned on me. I couldn't comprehend why I had allowed myself to be a loyal mother, family member, lover, employee, co-worker, boss, and friend without feeling as though my cup was being filled in return, my actions being reciprocated, the love that I gave being returned in the same manner that I gave it. I began to spiral downward fast. Letting my mind once again take control, telling me all the reasons why I was stupid for allowing myself to be used and "abused" by those ones I loved and trusted the most.

The thoughts that consumed me began to become too heavy of a weight to bear so I began to let go. I let go of everything and everyone that was not benefiting me. That was not reciprocating my love, my energy, my kindness, my gentleness, my empathy...all of it.

It was the hardest decision that I had to make but I was on a mission to save myself from my thoughts. To prove them wrong. I began to read self-help books, I began to pray more, I started exercising and meditating. I started pouring into myself. At the time, I didn't notice that I was giving myself the love that I had always given to everyone else, except for myself.

Now, don't get me wrong, I did a lot for others, and I don't regret any of it. I just failed to look inward and recognize within myself what I recognized in others...their needs. I was so used to fulfilling everyone else's needs and thinking that it would all come back to me. That they would treat me as good as I treated them because it's karma, the law of attraction, that is just how life goes. Because what you put out is what you get back. It was these falsehoods that ultimately helped me to understand and claim my Superpower. To love myself, for without self-love, I could not do what I love to do for others. Now I completely understand and agree with my younger self. I KNOW I am here to be of service to others, but I also know that I cannot nor will not serve others, give to others, and pour into others without having it within myself to do so. And to know that I must give to myself first. In a nutshell, I am my Superpower!

I always equated Superpowers to Superhero type qualities simply because of what I have been conditioned to think. People have even asked, "If you could have any Superpower, what would it be"? Television shows and movies glamorize having Superpowers as this abnormal gift that one inherits through some type of supernatural event.

Why does this have to be the case? I consider myself to be a powerful being, not because of anything special that I have within me that others don't but because we are all powerful beings. What lead me to understand my Superpowers may sound like a sob sad story, but it is honestly a story of unlearning, re-learning, growing, and believing.

If there is one thing that I know for sure, it's that there is no greater teacher than life itself. Sometimes the hardest lessons gifts you with the greatest rewards. In my life, I have learned to seek within myself everything that I sought from others, from external sources. I am my Superpower, and I will live the rest of my life treating myself as such!

What is your Superpower and how did you learn about it?