My Relations with Procrastination

I feel like procrastination seduces me at times. Telling me all the things I want to hear, to keep me near all the while I know that I have shit to do. Goals to accomplish and dreams to achieve yet, procrastination seems to win and brings me to my knees.

As I surrender to this unseen force, I relinquish my mental "To Do List" into the void. I am stuck! Allowing immobility to sink its grasp deeper and deeper into me as I slip into the comfort of doing absolutely nothing!

Sometimes I feed my ego by telling myself that I need the rest even when I'm feeling my best. I know that there's no greater feeling in the world like accomplishment. It's a dopamine rush that makes me think I can conquer the world! But the seductive power that procrastination has over me pushes the dopamine levels farther and farther away from one of many finish lines that I am not sure I want to cross yet.

I'm only unsure of crossing a finish line because then I have to face it. The daunting task of actually putting in the work. Of taking all the steps that are etched on whatever media I have placed them. Whether those steps are on paper, my phone, my laptop, or my mind, the list alone can be overwhelming. And then the real battle ensues. Ultimately and thankfully, I decide to take on the challenge full speed ahead.

When I achieve what I sought out to do I curse myself for giving procrastination the pleasure of existing within me. For stealing my precious time that I will never get back. If I would have just done it when I was thinking about it, I could have been done a long time ago. In fact, the tasks are always so much easier than the daunting steps I'm so apprehensive to complete.

Procrastination is a choice and sometimes I choose to defeat myself with all these thoughts that make said tasks this monstrosity that it simply is not!